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Sunspots EP

by Madima

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1.
You’ve always wanted more of things you can’t afford. But what you had for free, you gave up easily. And now you wanna buy my love, But my dear - it’s not enough. Go ahead and name the price, you live for the bottom line. How much was I for the fast life? Paying for the whole parade, selling out your charade, Hoping someday you’ll want nothing. But you can’t get back time ignored just face facts – You get what you paid for. You’re always keeping score - by measuring your hoard. But you never kept me, you just let go. Packed up and left me, how could I know my worth if I wasn’t worth your time? And now you wanna buy my love, But my dear - it’s not enough. Go ahead and name the price, you live for the bottom line. How much was I for the fast life? Paying for the whole parade, selling out your charade, Hoping someday you’ll want nothing. But you can’t get back time ignored just face facts – Don’t want a life defined by designer bags and jeans. I only wanted to know you’d always be there for me, just like you said you’d be… Go ahead and see the price - you should know the bottom line is…
2.
Sunspots 04:04
Thoughts of you are tattooed on the inside of my brain, tried my hardest with a subtle knife to laser them away. But they still itch and scratch and show me pasts that never stay the same - always re-writing, then rewinding the pain. And then there are those memories filled with blinding, loving light. They shout whispers of a time defined by laughter and delight - And though I try to listen, all your sunspots start to show; And I can’t ignore the shadows that grow... If I’d forget all these regrets, I’d be much happier I guess. I’d live with lies and cut the ties to every single thing you said. But I can’t, I can’t. I’d wash my hands of you, but I’ll never be clean. Your stains are what I need. I never lost your number, all I did was screen your calls - 'Cause to navigate your arguments would take all summer long. And I might be the bad guy 'cause I quit making this right, But self-sabotage sounds better than another fucking fight-- If I’d forget all these regrets, I’d be much happier I guess. I’d live with lies and cut the ties to every single thing you said. But I can’t, I can't. I’d wash my hands of you, but I’ll never be clean. Your stains are what I need... Don’t need closure, just a closed door locked up tight. Over-exposure made you blind to hindsight. Could it be that we were wrong? That we still could get along by pretending? Well, fuck your happy ending! If I’d forget all these regrets, I’d be much happier I guess! I’d live with lies, cut the ties to every single thing you said and did Again and again and again and again and again and again! I’d wash my hands of you, but I’ll never be clean... I’d wash my hands of you, but I’ll never be clean - 'Cause your stains should be seen.
3.
Want Better 03:00
(one more time please?) Hey little lady, watch your facts and figure, are they enough to help you keep your man? Hey little lady, tell me, can you picture A better life without a leading hand? Hey pretty lady, won’t you smile for me? You’ll feel much better if you play along. Hey pretty lady, spend your time on me 'cause I know you know you don't want to go home. ‘Cause you want better than what you got Don’t forget her: the girl - you were but now you’re not. Hey pretty lady, I hope it was worth it, Leaving your girls to wonder what went wrong. It’s not our fault ‘cause I can see so clearly, he was a choice you wanted all along. ‘Cause you wanted better than what you got. No red letters for us - you sold back the life you bought. You’re better off without us. Can’t forget her: the girl - who got more than she lost. You got more than you lost. Tell me, darling, was the cost worth the loss?
4.
I have a white dress and I must confess it’s the greatest thing I’ll ever own. Twirled in my bedroom, but didn’t expect to see me in a veil all alone. If you could see me, would you believe me when I say, “I’m happy you’re here"? Would you say, “Darling, I’d never miss this," even though we haven’t spoken in years? It takes time, it takes time. Forgive my impatient heart 'cause I see life passing us by - when will we be alright? I have a baby and I can say lately I’ve never slept less in my life. Days blur together, I‘m scared that I’ll mess it all up, but I know I’ll get by. If you could see me, would you release me from all of my fears and my doubts? Would you say, “Darling, you won’t let her down, ‘cause unlike me, you’d never walk out"? It takes time, it takes time. Forgive my impatient heart 'cause I see life passing us by - when will we be alright? I’ll be a wife to a man who can stand with me, shoulder to shoulder. We’ll raise a daughter, and offer the world at her feet - and extend her reach to the stars. I’ll never leave her or treat her like she has to be anything more than what she is: which is wonderful. I hope you’ll be there for all of this. How could you miss all of this? Hope you don’t miss all of this.
5.
Hummingbird 02:17
Hummingbird, you suck the honey from the stem and vine - how lovely is the taste of a sunny day? Hummingbird, you flit around the gardens of plenty where others know your name - it’s never the same. Do they know your name? Hummingbird, you come and go as you please, but do you know where your home lies? Hummingbird, you could stay with me, but I know, that’s a risk to your ideal life: being someone’s wife - but no one’s mother.

about

Delving into repressed childhood trauma and the complexities of strained maternal bonds, the "Sunspots" EP is the most vulnerable project Madima has released yet. Unearthing the layers of parenting when one is still a child, this is a collection of thoughts on resentment and acceptance.

credits

released August 4, 2023

artwork: Ashley Lam
production: Camping (Darryl J. Basco)
session musician (piano): Magnum C. Nadal
session musician (cello): Paul Hyun

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about

Madima Los Angeles, California

MADIMA is a L.A. based artist with deep Texan roots.

Prolific in writing style and genre, she likes to have a touch of Americana in all her music; but overall, she just wants to give her audience a good time.

Her fourth independent project, the "Sunspots EP", includes singles that are currently being released this spring and summer with a wide release in August 2023.
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